My name is Bernie Sanders,

To college kids I’ll pander.

With less liberty

In the economy

We’ll make this country grander!

 

If you want a free lunch I’ll provide,

Free college and other bromides,

I’ll just wave my wand:

“Laws of econ be gone!”;

Price controls will make it all fine.

 

Avarice offends me deeply

Capitalists don’t help the needy.

So give me half of your income

Or else go to prison;

Aren’t you glad that I’m not greedy?

 

I promise we’ll be like Denmark

(a heaven to which we should hark);

The fact that they’re freer

Econ-wise than we are

Is a fact I’ll fail to impart.

 

I don’t think demand curves slope down,

Thought there’s ample evidence to be found

I’ll just wave my wand:

“Laws of econ be gone!”

What’s important is how good it sounds.

 

I’ll raise your taxes as well

For your own good; it’s not hard to tell

We need more of your money

To grow the economy;

Only government spends money well.

 

The private sector’s full of greed;

They’ll deny you what you need.

But all government men

Should be trusted again

In spite of the abuses we’ve seen.

 

I’ll make you feel the Bern,

One thing you’ve never learned

Is I can just wave my wand;

“Laws of econ be gone!”

And to prosperity we will return!


The featured image was taken by Gage Skidmore (CC BY-SA 2.0 — photoshopped).